Suicide

I was reading today about a 11-year old boy who hung himself after frequent bullying by other kids at school who thought he was gay. He didn't have to be, just they thought he was, and they were relentless, until he quit. He left this life we value so much. And while people are looking at the issue of why he chose to commit suicide, let's not forget what happened up to that moment, and why everyone else didn't see, and talk with him to help him with his feelings.

I'm more afraid in the aftermath a lot of people will start speculating about this incident, teen suicide and bullying among other topics around the issue. And there are always the verbal rubberneckers, those who have an opinion without any real understanding, knowledge or experience with suicide. Even people who know people who have tried or expressed the notion to try to commit suicide don't understand.

And that's the point. All the people in the world just don't get it. Ok, an overstatement, and not true. I've written a little about suicide in NP's. If you have to commit suicide, I can't think of a better place if you love the outdoors. And there's always the likelihood you can go so deep into the NP not to be found for a long time, if you want to be lost.

My point here? Well, depression so deep you're not just considering suicide but are close to succeeding. I lost a nephew to suicide and watch other families members die a slow death that may have been called suicide, they chose the long road to emptiness and then death. My Dad went to bed after his 75th birthday and quit life. My brother knew he was dying and went home to die in the place he knew the most.

And I'm always just a thought away from falling into the abyss where the only answer is suicide. I've been there and am still alive. I've learned my symptoms and have to continuously monitor my thoughts and feelings, only because I survived and know better, at least until the day I find life harder than I want to continue. And that's what I find frustrating in the discussion about suicide.

Too many people with no real experience or undestanding about suicide talk and too few who do want to stand up to give the truth and reality. No one wants to hear about the waste of a life, about hope of the future, or learn to be something they're not. It's angering to hear how suicide-susceptible people are "supposed" to view life because we're told we don't see or understand.

We do understand and we are entitled to our view of life. I'm angry the child took his life because of others, those who bullied him, those who turned a blind eye and deaf ear, and those who didn't see it coming. All the signs were there. I saw it in my nephew but my sister and brother-in-law didn't. They swear he was better while he was only hiding and disguising his feelings.

I know my view isn't the only one, or even close to the right one. I only know experience has taught me others are far more wrong than me and they oblivious to their ignorance. And I wish they'd stop talking and begin listening, to those who have been through to stand on the other side and didn't succomb to death by their own hand.

That's because it's not just about us but the world around us, we're just standing and living it and reacting and responding to how we're treated. We're not weak or don't care about life. It's just the rest of the world becomes too much and getting up every day is too much. That's what family and friends should know. We don't need to talk about it. We just need to know you're there to listen.

We don't need lectures or pep talks. We need an ear, one with heart to be there and listen without anything else except love and understanding. It's not hard, but it's also the hardest thing you'll do in your life. Listen as someone talks about the darkness and depths of their feelings. You want to save them, but only they can save themselves. And that takes time and patience.

And what we fear the most is that we may not succeed and they may decide their own fate. Try as we can, sometimes it's never enough. That's our reality and the reality of life. I don't know if anyone could have helped the 11-year old kid. All the talk will focus on problems and solutions, but it won't address the basic issue of the human heart. Even an 11-year old child's heart.

I'm sorry he's gone. I'm sorry for his parents and family. I'm sorry the world creates circumstances and situations where a child thinks about suicide. I'm sorry the answers aren't all in the child, but the rest of us. And that's our burden we're life with, our failure to see and understand. And that's the question we must ask ourselves, do we see and do we want to understand?

All the actions in the world won't matter if we don't see and understand. And tomorrow we'll read about someone else who committed suicide for reasons we all know. So, when will it end?