To Just Smile

Sometimes the only thing someone with Dysthymia wants to do is just smile. No reason, but reasons help. But really just to smile feeling good about themselves and their life that moment. Nothing else, just to smile about life, if only for a moment every now and then. To feel good enough to smile.

Some Days

Some days living and dying feel the same. Some days I can't tell the difference. Some days I don't even care if there is a difference. Some days they are the same thing.

I Want to be

I want to be. I want to do. And I fear. The question is which is the greater each day, the fear or the desire to be and do, but all too often the former wins and the latter dies a little more. It's not about the fear of failure as there is no failure to be and do. The failure is the fear of just not trying.

I used to

I used to believe in myself. Now I don’t even ask myself questions.

Some Days

Some days the battle is just to survive the day, mentally, but I always lose because time always wins, except at least time grants me the one thing I wanted from the morning, nightfall and the opportunity to crawl in to bed, to sleep and wake up tomorrow with hope the day will be better.

Time is the winner, but a generous and gracious one, except you can't get the day back and you're one day older but no wiser. But you survived and didn't want to end time, your time on this earth, and that is enough some days.