Staying level

To begin, I start by saying our emotions are like the tide, an ebb and flow of feelings, thoughts and emotions, our whole spiritual state. We rise and fall during the day, week, month, season, year and over the years. It's being human, with age and experience. And somewhere in all the flow we find a level where are, say, "normal", something between a 0 and 5 on a scale of -10 to +10 for the deepest depression to the highest happiness.

People with Dysthymia, despite all their effort, find their normal level somewhere between 0 and -5. People with non-genetic Dysthymia find themselves falling into the negative zone for the period of their depression, but slowly they get better and back to the normal level. People with genetic Dysthymia don't, they constantly live at the negative level, and only trying with drugs, therapy and personal effort, do they rise above their normal level to feel consistently better for periods of time.

I don't use the word "well", because we're all well. It's a mistake to use the word well. To say we're not well isn't right, fair or true. We're well physically and mentally. Nothing is wrong. Our normal level of life is just lower than most people. It's our normal. Nothing more or less. It's who we are. But it's not about the level, it's the work to stay there that matters, and where the hard work is every day to stay level.

To many it starts with waking up. We've all had the feelings of the warm bed, and the cold world, not wanting to face the day because of something we know will happen, something we have to do, some place we have to be, or someone we have to be with. We've all been there, lying in bed hoping it would change. And we know it won't. And we know we have to get up and get on with the day.

With Dysthymia, it's harder to do even that, start the day. And every day it's the same, lying there wishing and hoping we weren't so down on the day. And knowing it's just who we are, and not really the day, places we have to be, people we have to met, work we have to do. We have to say it's ok to be and get up and get on with the day. Personally I like warm showers to start the day, to feel the warmth.

With Dysthymia, routine often helps. It helps fit the world into something we can be ok and face the rest of the day. It keeps us level. After that the coping mechanics and methods vary with the individual. Some, like me, like to run and exercise - it generates the same endorphins as drugs. Some use anti-depressants. Some, like me, use therapy. I have a wonderful life coach to explore the issues and ideas about life and the world.

Where most people exist on a level we would love to be at. For us, it's work to stay level and harder to improve. It's about choosing to do that or the alternatives.