Things

Put what's important in front of you and put everything else somewhere else, preferably in dark places you'll forget where they are until it's necessary or becomes important.

Why

Why do people say it's what inside you, who you are, that matters, and then judge you by what's outside, what you look like?

Before & After

A psychiatrist once wrote, "Up to being 18 you can blame your parents for who you are. After 18, you can only blame yourself." I don't have an excuses, let alone any reasons for anything since I turned 18. Who does except just guessing? Is that why we always say in response to why we said or did something, "I don't know."?

Interesting Thought

"Everything Passes", even your own life. It's what's in the passing that matters, however it happens, whether we like or want it or not. Choice is not ours, we simply are passengers.

What If

If knowing this, what would you think?
What would you say to yourself?
What would you do?

There are days

There are days all I want to do is have a face-to-face conversation with a pillow.

Demons

We live with our demons, and sometimes they demand our attention.

Not Losing

Today I had my routine appointment with my therapist in Seattle and on the drive home I realized sometimes it's not about winning but simply not losing. We always seem to want or strive to win every mental or emotional battle. It's our nature, and when we're overwhelmed, we discover, in the most stark way, the reality, our reality, we can't win and won't win no matter how hard we fight.

And with enough of these battles, I come to the realization it's sometimes not about winning, but just not losing. It's what I call treading (mental) water when and where I can simply just exist and hope our demons find their way back into my memory for awhile, to stay quiet long enough, just long enough, to stay sane.

And just maybe find some modicum of happiness about myself, about life and about being alive. About being alive enough to stay alive, not wanting to lose. Sometimes winning isn't about actually winning, it's about not losing.

Sometimes

"Sometimes the future looks better not being there."

Sometimes

To borrow a thought about what I often think, "I dream of angels but I live with demons."