Friday, June 15, 2007

Respites

This almost sounds a contradictory idea, a respite from life with Dysthymia. Dysthymia is often the struggle to cope with life and all the things you deal with just getting through life. People take respites from life, work, careers, jobs, family, friendships, relationships, love, war, and many other things, but from Dysthymia? Don't you take respites from everything else but Dysthymia, or is a respite from Dysthymia happiness in and about life?

Well, yes and no. I wrote a brief description about Dysthymia, or at least my view of it. Mine is more the mild to moderate version where I can function in life without too many people seeing, let alone knowing, I suffer from it. It's easy to put on a face on those days I don't feel like it. And many times, simple informal, casual interactions with people help. And sometimes it creates so much anguish it's hard just to stand there.

So, sometimes I have to take a respite from it. And how can someone do that? First, it's hard since it a part of your psyche, part of your feeling and thinking, and part of the fiber of your being and doing. It's always there and never really goes away, so the best I can do is find ways to push it into the background where it's lost in the noise of life and the world. That's the hard part because my body is what drives my thinking and feeling.

Huh? We're conscious human being, and according to many, if not most, people, our mind is in control of our bodies, instinctively, innately, subconsciously and consciously. But, I would argue, for many people it's the reverse, our body drives our mental balance and state of being. It's what keeps us alive and controls our mind. And I know some will find this difficult, as it's common for those who can't see something or some idea to see something different, and then understand and accept it as equal to their view of things.

If you don't see this view, then how do you explain addiction? How do you explain depression? How do you explain when you're doing something physical and in the flow of the moment, not thinking but simply being whole with your body. It's the body controlling the mind. Not hard to accept. In people with Dysthymia, it's similar, instead of an addiction or something else, the physical being of Dysthymia in our mind and body is controlling the circumstances.

And there comes times it's simply becomes tiring to continue without a respite. This takes conscious effort to recognize it and to think to take a respite. For me, at times, that respite is photography, simply taking my camera some place(s) and taking photos. It's a slow change to thinking as a photographer, all the artistic, tecnicial and mechnical issues of photography, but for the periods it consumes my mind and body, and the Dysthymia fades into the recesses of my mind.

Other respites are with running, walking, hiking, reading, and many of the little things in life, the "sweeping the floor" as the Buddhist adage goes, like working with my many plants, cleaning the home, washing the van, or whatever. Anything to engage the body and mind. Away from Dysthymia, a respite from it's continually existence.