Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The Sunrise
The only real thing I'll miss in death is the sunrise, for it is the only true thing in life, to know it will always come and the day will always be there, for whatever I want to do. It's it the only real thing that tells me I'm still alive. It is always different, every morning like life, my life, and whatever happens in the day.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Mental Rainy Days
Today is a mental rainy day. And beside it's a typical winter day in western Washington, namely on and off rain showers and lots o' clouds. Did I mention clouds and rain, like all day? Well, maybe a sun break or two later, but that's a maybe and only a glance through the cloud cover.
But that said, some days are like that for me where I just lounge around and putter doing small things. It's like the mental and emotion well being inside my head is being pelted with rain and clouds dampening any sunshine that I might think or feel. I've learned to just skate through these days doing small things.
The sweeping the floor philosophy in Buddhism. Pay attention to those small things that need attention but don't demand much energy, throught or emotion. Just trudge onward through the day. Some days I feel just good enough to focus on thoughts to write on my blogs, like this one. The thoughts just happen in my mind and writing is just what happens to get them out.
And some days I don't, occasionally becoming a couch potato watching reruns of Law & Order and CSI shows which don't require a lot of thought but at least have some plot. Those days I usually end up doing chores around the place because to see it clean and organized makes one (aka me) feel a little better at the end of the day having accomplished something useful.
Otherwise, it's just a day, overcast, gray, and rain showers with the occasional sun break for a moment. Both outside (with a big southeast facing window) and inside my mind. Sometimes it's the best I can do and the best to do. Tomorrow will come and today will be just a forgotten day. Well, except for the smal things I got done.
But that said, some days are like that for me where I just lounge around and putter doing small things. It's like the mental and emotion well being inside my head is being pelted with rain and clouds dampening any sunshine that I might think or feel. I've learned to just skate through these days doing small things.
The sweeping the floor philosophy in Buddhism. Pay attention to those small things that need attention but don't demand much energy, throught or emotion. Just trudge onward through the day. Some days I feel just good enough to focus on thoughts to write on my blogs, like this one. The thoughts just happen in my mind and writing is just what happens to get them out.
And some days I don't, occasionally becoming a couch potato watching reruns of Law & Order and CSI shows which don't require a lot of thought but at least have some plot. Those days I usually end up doing chores around the place because to see it clean and organized makes one (aka me) feel a little better at the end of the day having accomplished something useful.
Otherwise, it's just a day, overcast, gray, and rain showers with the occasional sun break for a moment. Both outside (with a big southeast facing window) and inside my mind. Sometimes it's the best I can do and the best to do. Tomorrow will come and today will be just a forgotten day. Well, except for the smal things I got done.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
With All Due Respects
I read a recent article in the NY Times Science Section, "Depression Defies the Rush to Find an Evolutionary Upside", by Dr. Richard A. Friedman (his Website). Well, he attacks evolutionary biologists who suggest depression has some beneficial aspect, but fails in some respects.
First, he supports pharmacological (drug) solutions to depression, including conducting clinical trials for drug companies, which he doesn't seem to inform the reader his bias from the outset of the article. Second, he generalizes from studies conducted evolutionary biologists which is exactly what he criticize others for their criticism of clinical and drug therapies for depression.
But mostly he forgets the obvious, depression is part of the human expression and experience which has been a part of human evolution, and to push a position that we shouldn't have it because it not essential to modern times doesn't make sense. In short, we should all be happy and if you're not, then try drugs to make you happy? Ok, overstatement, but it's at the heart of his argument.
He discounts studies showing depression helps people be better judges in some situation, especially deception. Studies have shown slightly depressed or Dysthymic people are often better judges of reality where "happy" people tend to overemphasize the positive side of situations or circumstance, often leading to problems or failure.
He dismisses studies that depressed people have often had periods of creativity, sometimes great as noted by the list of writers who frequently or often had periods of moderate to severe depression, and recovery has hurt that creativity. Depression changes your view of life, and he ignores the many who have benefited from it.
He dismisses that studies which show Dysthymic people are often the most leveled headed, realistic people, seeing the greater complexity of issues and many possible directions to question, investigate and solve issues or problems. In short they're often self-contained brain-stormers doing more than many teams of people because they see the many sides.
He dismisses the many benefits of Dysthymia and depression, to suggest that the inherit benefits aren't necessary to society and culture. He's an advocate for anyone feeling depressed and especially clinically depressed to seek help and especially seek drugs to overcome their depression, and not seeking to see the benefits of it.
I won't argue his points that people suffering moderate and especially severe depression should seek help and especially if they're having thoughts of suicide. I won't agree that drugs are the solution to suicide, often one of the various types of conversational therapy is better and drugs should be the last resort, at least in my mind.
The reasons are that all drugs aren't effective for all people, usually about 50% , all drugs aren't always effective for those it does work, usually to some degree of effectiveness and taking time to work, where the individual is left wondering when and how much it will help, and all drugs eventually lose their effectiveness requiring an increasing dosage or a new drug.
Anyway, it's a complex issue. The writer tries to reduce it to simplicity and only succeeds in expressing an opinion than establishing any answers. So why does he make the point? Well, maybe just to complain. Like that's helpful? Not to me.
First, he supports pharmacological (drug) solutions to depression, including conducting clinical trials for drug companies, which he doesn't seem to inform the reader his bias from the outset of the article. Second, he generalizes from studies conducted evolutionary biologists which is exactly what he criticize others for their criticism of clinical and drug therapies for depression.
But mostly he forgets the obvious, depression is part of the human expression and experience which has been a part of human evolution, and to push a position that we shouldn't have it because it not essential to modern times doesn't make sense. In short, we should all be happy and if you're not, then try drugs to make you happy? Ok, overstatement, but it's at the heart of his argument.
He discounts studies showing depression helps people be better judges in some situation, especially deception. Studies have shown slightly depressed or Dysthymic people are often better judges of reality where "happy" people tend to overemphasize the positive side of situations or circumstance, often leading to problems or failure.
He dismisses studies that depressed people have often had periods of creativity, sometimes great as noted by the list of writers who frequently or often had periods of moderate to severe depression, and recovery has hurt that creativity. Depression changes your view of life, and he ignores the many who have benefited from it.
He dismisses that studies which show Dysthymic people are often the most leveled headed, realistic people, seeing the greater complexity of issues and many possible directions to question, investigate and solve issues or problems. In short they're often self-contained brain-stormers doing more than many teams of people because they see the many sides.
He dismisses the many benefits of Dysthymia and depression, to suggest that the inherit benefits aren't necessary to society and culture. He's an advocate for anyone feeling depressed and especially clinically depressed to seek help and especially seek drugs to overcome their depression, and not seeking to see the benefits of it.
I won't argue his points that people suffering moderate and especially severe depression should seek help and especially if they're having thoughts of suicide. I won't agree that drugs are the solution to suicide, often one of the various types of conversational therapy is better and drugs should be the last resort, at least in my mind.
The reasons are that all drugs aren't effective for all people, usually about 50% , all drugs aren't always effective for those it does work, usually to some degree of effectiveness and taking time to work, where the individual is left wondering when and how much it will help, and all drugs eventually lose their effectiveness requiring an increasing dosage or a new drug.
Anyway, it's a complex issue. The writer tries to reduce it to simplicity and only succeeds in expressing an opinion than establishing any answers. So why does he make the point? Well, maybe just to complain. Like that's helpful? Not to me.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Life Lead
I wouldn't be here but for the life I lead, but what if it didn't lead me where I wanted to be now? I wouldn't be here but for the choices I made, but what if I made different ones? Or ones I have lived to regret for the life I made? The life I made and have now. The life I lead from the choices I made.
It's obvious now it's, as they say, all said and done, and like everyone else looking back, all I have are the memories of the life and choices. And the question we all ask now and then, "What if...?", about the choices we made or didn't make. Right or wrong doesn't matter anymore, only the reality of what happened afterward, to here and now.
And it's the obvious there are no do overs or wishes to be something or someone else. We face who we are where we are here and now, from all those choices which lead to this moment of the life we lead. That's all there is. Everything else is irrelevant and nothing else matters.
It's the life we lead and sometime in the future it will be the life people remember about us. And all the choices which didn't happen, only those that did. And left the life we lead.
It's obvious now it's, as they say, all said and done, and like everyone else looking back, all I have are the memories of the life and choices. And the question we all ask now and then, "What if...?", about the choices we made or didn't make. Right or wrong doesn't matter anymore, only the reality of what happened afterward, to here and now.
And it's the obvious there are no do overs or wishes to be something or someone else. We face who we are where we are here and now, from all those choices which lead to this moment of the life we lead. That's all there is. Everything else is irrelevant and nothing else matters.
It's the life we lead and sometime in the future it will be the life people remember about us. And all the choices which didn't happen, only those that did. And left the life we lead.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Sorrow
"Sorrow found me when I was young. Sorrow waited and sorrow won."
- Bran Stark
It found me when I was five to be my companion in life, never leaving my mind, my heart, my soul and mostly my spirit. I never thought if it was there, I only knew it was there and was what it was, sorrow. And it's still, as it always has been, there, invisibly in my subconscious and sometimes in my conscious thoughts and feelings.
It has been my guide wherever I was and went, however I thought or felt. There, invisible to all but me. Felt by no one but me. Occasionally letting me be happy for a moment, but only just a moment. And it will be the last feeling I know, about my life and the world and life I leave.
- Bran Stark
It found me when I was five to be my companion in life, never leaving my mind, my heart, my soul and mostly my spirit. I never thought if it was there, I only knew it was there and was what it was, sorrow. And it's still, as it always has been, there, invisibly in my subconscious and sometimes in my conscious thoughts and feelings.
It has been my guide wherever I was and went, however I thought or felt. There, invisible to all but me. Felt by no one but me. Occasionally letting me be happy for a moment, but only just a moment. And it will be the last feeling I know, about my life and the world and life I leave.
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