Monday, March 11, 2013

The Right to Choose

In the US we regard the right of the individual as a cornerstone of our human rights, the right of the individual to choose whatever is available and along with it comes the responsibility of their choice and the consequences from that choice.

So why is that right not a right, not ever a privilege, when it comes to suicide?

We don't tell soldiers who go into combat that they don't have the right to go and die for their country.

We don't tell cops they can't go into high risk situation knowing people have guns and they're likely as not to get shot if not killed.

We don't tell extreme risk takers they don't have the right to do what they want if the risk of death is real and sometimes higher than living.

We don't tell people they don't have the right to choose not to go through medical proceedures, undergo treatments or take drugs if they know the risk of dying by doing nothing is almost, if not, absolutely certain.

So why do we tell people they can't decide their live isn't in their hands if they choose to end their life?

I'm not an advocate of suicide, I didn't commit it when I chose to make it a choice, and had the chance twice in my life, but I'm not an opponent of it either. I don't think anyone has the right to demand someone can't take their life simply because they can demand it.

And they can't put guilt or shame on them about who else is affected or effected by their death or the impact of their death with their friends and in their community. That only adds to the feelings the person has about themself and of death, to push them farther away and closer to suicide.

That makes me mad to hear people talk about suicide as an idea, and madder after a family member or friend commited suicide and talk about their thoughts and feelings, their reaction, their hurt and pain. And never a mention of the person who died.

Where were they when the person was thinking and planning suicide? Often close by and often not paying attention to the signs from the person and misunderstanding or misinterpreting the person's  words about their life.

In short, they missed everything to at least get them away from the immediate plan to commit suicide if not help them on the road away from suicide. You need to understand the way back is long and slow with a boatload of issues to resolve.

I think people who are contemplating suicide and more so people who have decided to go down that road need someone to talk to, but not someone to tell them they're wrong, they're not allowed to kill themself, and they're doing something against some principle, value or religious doctrine.

People thinking and even planning suicide do an avenue away from suicide, to find someone who listens and ask questions when the person wants them to talk or ask, but not judge and certainly not lecture. Someone to just be there when the person chooses to talk, but not push or demand anything.

The only thing a person has the right to ask them is to wait until tomorrow. Wait until tomorrow when they wake up and talk some more, if they want. But in the end, it's still their decision and their right, and as much as we hate that decision, we don't have the right to say they can't.

I'm not for anyone commiting suicide, but I also know there are times when people face extraordinary circumstances or situations in their life, and suicide is an option and even a choice. And that is their right and no one else's to say otherwise.

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