Sometimes there is something soothing in the fall rain in the Pacific Northwest, the clouds clinging to the trees and hiding the distant horizon, the constant drizzle of the rain against the roof, the deck, the whole visible world around me, and the sound of people walking or car tires driving through the puddles.
Sometimes the drizzle gets tiring after days on end common some years, but sometimes it just feels good. The whole sense of it, the feel of it against all your senses, the sight of steady downpour of raindrops, the clouds which looked like they fell to earth, the sound of rain against everything, especially your body when you walk in it.
The drizzle hides everything while washing everything else away, and sometimes it just feels good.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Do Not Do This Updated
Update.--In reading the blog of this person I discovered this person suffers from periods of depression. For that I am truly sorry. And for my words here I apologize for the harshness, I misunderstood and am wrong.
I still think this person's advice, while good, should include seeking professional help for anyone you know or think is depressed or nudging them to seek professional help. There are many excellent therapists, often available at free clinics or via the telephone who can help.
Again, I am truly sorry if anything here sounded harsh, it wasn't meant to be as I've had lifelong (genetic) Dysthymia with periods of double depression (depression on top of Dysthymia) and two near-suicide attempts.
Original Post.--Do not dispense advice about depression or for helping a depressed person if you have no knowledge, understanding or experience either with depression or depressed people. In short, unless you know don't. It's that simple.
But apparently with the social networking Websites, such as Tumblr, dispensing advice seems to be ok. It's not, even if the advice is generally good, it may not be specifically good, such as for one person who is depressed. If you don't know them, don't tell other who do how to be with them.
I say this because of this post, when the writer (blog owner) wrote, "I just want to say that I am not any kind of therapist; I am just a girl on the internet who draws owls. But I get a lot of questions from people who want to take better care of their depressed friends and family, but don’t know how! So I hope this has been useful to some of you out there!"
That's my point, she admits to no knowledge, understanding or experience but still dispenses advice. While the advice is good in many respects, mostly general, but not all points are good and should not be followed, this doesn't give her relevance to write it.
The key is that depressed people need people who do have knowledge, understanding and experience about depression and dealing with depressed people. That's why they're specialists and therapist. Don't presume to know when it is very critical in the life of depressed people.
They need ways to talk. They need time to think. They need space to heal. They need people who they trust. They need patience. And they need love. They don't need people who think they know, think they know better, or think they have good advice.
As for me, about depression and dealing with depressed people. Been there, done that. I'm far from any expert, just my experience, which is more than this person's experience. Granted her care and concern is real, but to them and others, refer people to experts than tell them what you think.
I still think this person's advice, while good, should include seeking professional help for anyone you know or think is depressed or nudging them to seek professional help. There are many excellent therapists, often available at free clinics or via the telephone who can help.
Again, I am truly sorry if anything here sounded harsh, it wasn't meant to be as I've had lifelong (genetic) Dysthymia with periods of double depression (depression on top of Dysthymia) and two near-suicide attempts.
Original Post.--Do not dispense advice about depression or for helping a depressed person if you have no knowledge, understanding or experience either with depression or depressed people. In short, unless you know don't. It's that simple.
But apparently with the social networking Websites, such as Tumblr, dispensing advice seems to be ok. It's not, even if the advice is generally good, it may not be specifically good, such as for one person who is depressed. If you don't know them, don't tell other who do how to be with them.
I say this because of this post, when the writer (blog owner) wrote, "I just want to say that I am not any kind of therapist; I am just a girl on the internet who draws owls. But I get a lot of questions from people who want to take better care of their depressed friends and family, but don’t know how! So I hope this has been useful to some of you out there!"
That's my point, she admits to no knowledge, understanding or experience but still dispenses advice. While the advice is good in many respects, mostly general, but not all points are good and should not be followed, this doesn't give her relevance to write it.
The key is that depressed people need people who do have knowledge, understanding and experience about depression and dealing with depressed people. That's why they're specialists and therapist. Don't presume to know when it is very critical in the life of depressed people.
They need ways to talk. They need time to think. They need space to heal. They need people who they trust. They need patience. And they need love. They don't need people who think they know, think they know better, or think they have good advice.
As for me, about depression and dealing with depressed people. Been there, done that. I'm far from any expert, just my experience, which is more than this person's experience. Granted her care and concern is real, but to them and others, refer people to experts than tell them what you think.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Means to an End
Suicide is a means to an end. The problem isn't the means, nor the person seeking the means. The problem is the world they live in and everyone around them. Solve that and you solve the person thinking about the means.
It's not rocket science, it's being human and caring enough to see it and then solve the world and people around them. The person will solve themself.
It's not rocket science, it's being human and caring enough to see it and then solve the world and people around them. The person will solve themself.
Take Heart
Take heart in the joy of your youth. Live it well. Share it with others. For like all of us, one day you will be old and the memory of your youth will be what makes being old worthwhile. So be young when you are and be young throughout your life. Never lose your youth and joy. It will carry you through your years ahead.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Sleep
Whether it's just a nap or a night's sleep, we sleep for a variety of reasons. I sleep to escape life, my life as it is and who I am. No other reason, and since I can't forget, it's just to escape. And while I look forward to another day, many days I don't want to wake up let alone get up.
But I do because you can't escape life. Your own life, your reality. It's always waiting for you tomorrow morning. Like it or not.
But I do because you can't escape life. Your own life, your reality. It's always waiting for you tomorrow morning. Like it or not.
Suicide
Suicide is the one thing you don't want anyone to succeed, but then you want succeed when it's you. With suicide, failure is an option. It's called life and living.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Some Days
Some days I don't get very far if anywhere. The day never leaves where I started and I end up going to bed thinking nothing was accomplished, but then some days are meant not to accomplish anything at all, especially when you have the flu like I have this week. A day of doing nothing is better than being very sick.
And that's the good news of the day.
And that's the good news of the day.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Hardest Fight
My hardest fight every day is fighting the deep-seated, innate bias I seem to have on a variety of issues, like people, things, events, etc. I have to fight to keep them in their box and not externalized toward other people. It's sometime the hardest thing I do.
It's called being human. We all have these deep-seated biases against people, things or events, and the hardest thing we do is to remember there are others who have those same thoughts about and even against us.
The trick is knowing them and not letting them do anything, especially something you will regret. Keep them just what they are deep-seated, far away from any conscious thought. They'll never go away throughout your life, so it will be your eternal fight with and within yourself.
The trick is not letting them out and not letting them control you. That too is being human.
It's called being human. We all have these deep-seated biases against people, things or events, and the hardest thing we do is to remember there are others who have those same thoughts about and even against us.
The trick is knowing them and not letting them do anything, especially something you will regret. Keep them just what they are deep-seated, far away from any conscious thought. They'll never go away throughout your life, so it will be your eternal fight with and within yourself.
The trick is not letting them out and not letting them control you. That too is being human.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Just Harder
At 63, it's harder to get fit, harder to exercise. It's harder to mentally think and prepare. It's harder to start. It takes more energy to exercise. It's harder to recover when I do exercise. And yet I know it's harder if I don't.
At 63, there isn't any choices anymore that aren't hard, except of course to do nothing. It doesn't really matter, it's both physically and mentally harder not to do nothing. To do anything is harder. But it's all I have, harder or not.
At 63, it's all or nothing, being harder is part of the deal.
At 63, there isn't any choices anymore that aren't hard, except of course to do nothing. It doesn't really matter, it's both physically and mentally harder not to do nothing. To do anything is harder. But it's all I have, harder or not.
At 63, it's all or nothing, being harder is part of the deal.
What Do You Say
What do you say to a person experiencing depression? Nothing. You listen. You hear what they say. You be there when they want, and sometimes even when they don't want.
You just be their friend. They'll speak when they want. And then you can answer if they ask you a question, but only answer to say you're still there.
That's because someone in the midst of depression doesn't want to listen to anyone or anything. They don't want to talk until they know you won't judge them, you won't try to solve their problem, you won't try to give them advice.
You'll just be their friend.
That's not hard, but it takes patience. Lots of patience and silence. Lots of being there and being friend. Nothing else. They'll thank you later, so don't expect it until they say it.
You just be their friend. They'll speak when they want. And then you can answer if they ask you a question, but only answer to say you're still there.
That's because someone in the midst of depression doesn't want to listen to anyone or anything. They don't want to talk until they know you won't judge them, you won't try to solve their problem, you won't try to give them advice.
You'll just be their friend.
That's not hard, but it takes patience. Lots of patience and silence. Lots of being there and being friend. Nothing else. They'll thank you later, so don't expect it until they say it.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Not Sure
I'm not sure what is worse than living in a body you hate, not just for the genes you have with which you have to live, but the physical being, the body itself, where there is little you like about it from the time you were a child and other kids frequently teased you or your parents constantly criticized you.
And you hate having Dysthymia, that the rewards center in your brain barely works if it works at all, because most of the time it doesn't. You just don't get excited, you rarely feel even the slightest sense of happiness and then for just a few moments and it's gone.
And you hate not being born, not someone else but something else, always looking at other people and wondering why you aren't better, like them, why you aren't what they are, and most of all why you hate yourself when there's nothing much you can do than you've tried or know what little change you can achieve.
And you hate just being yourself. I'm not sure what's worse.
And you hate having Dysthymia, that the rewards center in your brain barely works if it works at all, because most of the time it doesn't. You just don't get excited, you rarely feel even the slightest sense of happiness and then for just a few moments and it's gone.
And you hate not being born, not someone else but something else, always looking at other people and wondering why you aren't better, like them, why you aren't what they are, and most of all why you hate yourself when there's nothing much you can do than you've tried or know what little change you can achieve.
And you hate just being yourself. I'm not sure what's worse.
Monday, October 1, 2012
It Is Simple
It's really very simple these days. On days when I walk my 4-6 miles I feel better physically and mentally, I keep my Dysthymia in check and I am ok with my life. On days when I don't walk, I don't feel good, I don't keep my Dysthymia in check, and I'm not ok with my life.
With all the physical ailments of these last few years and since this summer, I have this choice every day. There's no gray area, no partial answer or decision. It is one or the other. It really is that simple, get better or get worse. Every morning there is that question and those choices.
With all the physical ailments of these last few years and since this summer, I have this choice every day. There's no gray area, no partial answer or decision. It is one or the other. It really is that simple, get better or get worse. Every morning there is that question and those choices.
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