Not Sure

I'm not sure what is worse than living in a body you hate, not just for the genes you have with which you have to live, but the physical being, the body itself, where there is little you like about it from the time you were a child and other kids frequently teased you or your parents constantly criticized you.

And you hate having Dysthymia, that the rewards center in your brain barely works if it works at all, because most of the time it doesn't. You just don't get excited, you rarely feel even the slightest sense of happiness and then for just a few moments and it's gone.

And you hate not being born, not someone else but something else, always looking at other people and wondering why you aren't better, like them, why you aren't what they are, and most of all why you hate yourself when there's nothing much you can do than you've tried or know what little change you can achieve.

And you hate just being yourself. I'm not sure what's worse.